Boys. And Mean Girls.

Boys. And Mean Girls.

I don’t care what anyone says – relationships when you are young are a big deal.  Hand holding is fun.  Kissing is intimate.  Now, when you have yet to hold hands with or kiss someone that you like, all you can think is, “I BET it’s as awesome as when Leo kissed Claire in ‘Romeo and Juliet’!” And that is Pure. Unrelenting. Torture.  Ladies and gentleman – welcome to the first 18 years of my life.

Photosource – http://collider.com

I had MASSIVE, gut WRENCHING crushes on boys all throughout my grade school/high school years.  However, I was the chick that got made fun of (What?! An actor that was targeted and bullied?!?  That’s a totally new formula…) so I didn’t ever make the transition from, “the chick that rode in the back of your truck while you went off roading” to “the chick you ask to dances and want to kiss.”  I just stayed friends with a ton of guys and helped them date my friends.  Awesome.  And not at all painful.

Photosource: brownplanet.com

Describing me as a “late bloomer” is being wildly generous.  I was shy and quiet and scared for most of my childhood because girls at All Girls Schools are massive assholes to quiet kids.  Stephanie Fry, Cate Belmont, Lisa Fath and Abby Murray made my life living hell for most of my elementary/grade school experience.  This is relevant because I wanted to type out their names and put them on blast (so, it’s not really relevant at all). But, it is relevant because if I ever did like a boy in grade school (Doug H, Tanner R –  where you at?), I was NEVER going to even give ONE HINT that I was at all interested in him because I was already being shamed for any reason that these insecure bitches could think of, so why add to that mix?!  Back to kissing!  Which is so fun!  And why I’m writing this!  Here we go.

This “late bloomer” status was partially a choice because I had attended religious schools my entire life and was convinced that when I kissed a boy, I might as well purchase a ticket straight to Hell (which I know isn’t real, but at the time I was operating under the, “If it is, I’m not gonna test the waters” theory of life.  Super healthy.  Moving on…)  Also, my sister went on tons of dates and had boyfriends so I couldn’t exactly blame the gene pool but could maybe blame the she’s the “Lucky Gaffney” theory…

Photosource: clipartandcrafts.com

I, instead, chose to play the whole, “You can say no ifyouwantto, but I wanted to know if youwantedtogotothedancewithme, youreallycansaynoifyouwantto” game to get dates to dances.  Now, to be fair, at my Sophomore and Senior Homecoming dances, I had super hot dudes as my dates, but Sophomore year was a set up and Senior year I had to ask. One ended up being gay and the other was a Freshman in college and was the star soccer player all four years he was in high school.  We danced together like twice because “OHMYGOD!!!  It’s Randy back here with us!!!!!!!!!!”  Also, I asked him “as friends” since that apparently makes a huge difference in high school!?  Do you guys remember that, by the way?  Going “just as friends” to dances?  Like there is a distinction between friends and not friends at that age?  At my Evangelical Christian High School, distinguishing between “as friends” and “as people that find one another equally hot” was the difference between holding hands as you walked to the car and not holding hands when you walked to the car.  Huge.

In the end, I won out because I’m not an entitled jackass and I didn’t lose 4 years of growth to back seat make outs.  I ended up having a personality because I wasn’t mired down in dating (calm down, daters that read this – this is my experience.  I’m not saying you suck because you got to suck face).  Also, I learned how to be friends with guys genuinely and to appreciate their place in my life as big brothers.  I still talk to the majority of them to this day and for that I am so grateful.

Photosource: http://favim.com

So, to the girls out there that feel like you are NEVER going to find someone in high school, and that your world is colliding, and hurts all the time, I say this – being not the “prettiest” or most “popular” in your high school and being the “friend” of the cool guys is one of the best gifts you will be given. Ever.  When you are older, you will be able to appreciate friendships differently and also have a stronger, more pronounced personality because you developed it while everyone else was busy kissing.  I promise it will eventually work out for you.  So, don’t fret away high school.  It’s not worth it!

Oh and don’t force it and spend time thinking that because you didn’t have the “same” high school experience as everyone else around you, you are damaged goods and/or you suck.  Quite the opposite!  In fact, being “different” is kind of the best thing ever.  Promise.

Moral of the story –   You’re welcome Mom and Dad – no unplanned, high school babies for this white girl!

Photosource: retromodernmom.com

7 Replies to “Boys. And Mean Girls.”

      1. PS Katie – you were the first girl that was ever nice to me in school – not even joking. At Cincy Hills, you showed me around and stayed friends with me. You, not even exaggerating, changed school for me for the better. Thank you for that 🙂

  1. I was treating a patient today, who was a 16 year old female, who is a star athlete at her high school, #1 in her class and one wonderful kid (to say the least). I could tell she is the type of girl, much like you described yourself to be in your earlier years, that has a ton of guy friends, but never a prince. When I asked her if she has a nickname at her high school it came to no surprise that “they” call her “Beast” (although she likes the name). She is a quiet kid and one that I could tell has much confidence in all areas except for boys and “wearing dresses”. One thing that came to mind was so many guys will miss out on how amazing this young woman is because of her physical appearance. I mean she is in shape and not ugly, but not too many guys go for the chick that dunks and can spike a volleyball. I have always found that its usually the less than perfect people on the outside that glow so brightly on the inside, while the physically blessed usually have a certain dimness to them. But when we are young, our image of ourselves centers mostly on how we perceive people to feel about are looks. So unavoidable too (gotta love society!!!). At least some of us grow up to be better people because of things like this. I like to think I did…

    Good post Katie!