Groomzillas

I have started watching “Bridezillas” reruns while I unpack boxes in my new place (that’s why I haven’t written in awhile).  Since I have a lot of boxes, I have already watched hours and hours of this garbage, making me an expert in the study of crazy.  Let me just start with this sentiment – If “Bridezillas” were showing men treating women the way that these “brides” treat these “grooms”, this show would have never made it to air.  And, there would be massive lawsuits.

We can pretty much all agree that men don’t need any defenders.  In the world, and particularly in entertainment, they have an obvious stronghold on the leadership positions.  In regards to work, men are paid more, they move up quicker and they are usually the most heard in the writer’s rooms.  Men, however, can also be abused, degraded, victims of physical violence and even victims of rape.   While the show “Bridezillas” doesn’t show men being raped (and yikes if it did), it still shows awful behavior that I can only label as “abuse”.  It almost makes me want to defend a bunch of dudes.  Almost…

For those that are sane and don’t actually waste time with this show – a little background, shall we?

“Bridezillas” always features things in two’s – 2 different “brides”, 2 different cities, 2 different reasons to kill yourself when it’s over.  In each episode, they only finish the storyline of ONE of the “brides” at a time.  Meaning, each episode shows one and a half weddings.  It’s a quite brilliant formula because when the episode ends, you think you cannot handle another 5 minutes of this insanity, but since you’ve already wasted a previous 40 minutes, you’re going to watch next week to see what happens with the remaining wedding. It’s maddening.

Back to the “brides” – Now, these women are NEVER shown acting as anything other than entitled, rude and financially irresponsible.  9 times out of 10, these “brides” are 26 years old or younger and are always justifying the various behaviors they display which are pretty much always disgusting. You want an example?  Sure.  Why not?

This is a screenshot from their own site.  They are admitting it’s abusive.  Gross.

I watched an episode last night where a “bride” screamed, cursed, and cried at (yes, it is possible to cry at someone) a limousine company for not having her custom ordered limo ready 3 days prior to her wedding because she wanted to see it.  This company was not contractually obligated to show her this limousine as it was due to be ready on her wedding day and, considering it was custom ordered, it would have taken up until then to get it ready.  She went from screaming at them and saying she wanted her money back (but also still wanted the limo), to begging them to work with her as they were about to drop her completely on account of the verbal abuse she spewed onto all of the employees and onto the owner of the shop (who was, shit you not, at a funeral at the time).  The fact that they DIDN’T drop her as a client actually made me more mad.  Anyway.  She received no discount but did get to leave dripping in shame and unearned self-righteous behavior.  During her interview by the producers immediately following this meltdown of epic/embarrassing proportions, this “bride” was all smiles and marked it down as a “victory” on her scoreboard of life because she was going to still have the limo ready AND she let them know who was in charge.  I have heard, by the way, the phrase “I let them know who was in charge” more than once on this show.  It’s almost always following a case of insanity.  Of course they feel in charge – ain’t nobody trying to argue with crazy.

Since this show has gained popularity, I assume it’s hard to get cast as a “bride”, so the antics have been (as they always are in reality TV) shall we say “enhanced?”  The producers have filmed these “brides” with rage, crying fits, and almost every episode shows either a family member being dis-invited to the wedding or a bridesmaid getting kicked out.  They have also filmed these “brides” physically and verbally assaulting their soon-to-be husbands.  Why/how is this ok?  Look, I’m a woman, so abuse is a hot button for me.  But, it’s a genderless hot button.  Meaning, I don’t care if it’s a chick or a dude – abuse is gross and is the reaction of an uncontrolled, mentally ill person.

Here’s the thing – I’m the problem here, not these ladies.  I represent the female majority that watches this show.  And, the formula works.  If the purpose of “Bridezillas” is to make you feel more sane as a woman or to make you say, “Well, I would NEVER act like that,” then it is a whopping success story.  I watch this show with the sole intention of seeing how far some of these “brides” will take it and to remind myself that if I ever get married, that man will be lucky because I’m not an insane bitch.

But, I also HATE this type of programming.  Mainly, I hate that women are made to all look like this.  Some actual brides are not insane.  And, some women do not use stress as a reason to freak out and treat people like garbage.  The problem is that most men are terrified that their wife/daughter/female friend is, at some point, going to get THIS insane.  And I really think that this is why we have struggled with success.  Men can freak out like this too, but since they are men, it is more expected that they can control it.  Honestly, I blame the writers of old historical documents for what they said women go through on their periods.  But, whatever…

I can also recognize that while my intention is not to make you run out and watch the show, this is a massive plug for it since I’m so flabbergasted by the behavior, you kind of have to see it for yourself.  Then, never watch it again.  This show needs to be off the air.  This, and all things Kardashian or “reality” other than “Jersey Shore” because thatshowisbrilliantandshutupifyoudon’tlikeit.

Oh and when you watch “Bridezillas” be prepared – You’ll be pissed at women if you are one and scared of women if you’re not.

Moral of the story – The United States of America is officially out of problems and needs to visit countries where they can’t find clean water.

*I use quotation marks around the word “bride” because, as with all “reality shows”, these are paid “actors” (vomit in my mouth) and while the weddings might be real, you can guarantee that they are getting a cut for being on the show.  As an actor, this is maddening.