Locations on a Movie Set Pt. 1

In case there is a quiz, if anyone asks you if you are willing to have your house used in a production of a film or TV show, you are not.  You. Are. Not. Unless they are paying your mortgage that month, just, don’t.  I worked on a film this past December as a Production Assistant.  It was a fun process but also (and not surprisingly) very stressful.  I would shed more light on that, but you’re already asleep if you don’t care about film and if you do care about film, you already know.  This entire paragraph was useless for everyone.  You’re welcome.

On set we shot on location for 3 days at two separate houses in/around LA.  I should mention that this entire shoot was volunteer based – no one (actors, writers, production, FX, etc.) was getting paid. We were there to support a young girl named Rena (that has since passed away) that wrote a script about Mitochondrial Disease.  It was really rewarding to see what happens when good people come together for a good cause.  I mean, egos and issues that abound on all normal sets were still there, but it was minimized tremendously with this common goal.

Photosource: 4shared.com

Since there were many locations for this shoot, we had to have places where we were able to get footage.  Meaning, in order to get a shot of a park, you either pay the park to be on the property and shoot it, or you just show up, start shooting ( AKA a gorilla shoot) and you pray you don’t get caught.  This proper production paid everyone for all locations, just much below what is normally paid.

Normal rates (and I use the term “normal” VERY loosely) for location usage are between $1600 and $2500 a day depending on the size of your house, size of the production, etc.  There are loads of factors in to why/how you get paid.  The offered cost is decided upon how much of your house they are going to use, for how long, how much damage they foresee doing and how much they actually do, etc.  Suffice it to say, you have to put up with a LOT to be a location house for a shoot – they usually are there longer than they say they will be, stuff almost always gets broken, there are (on average) three times as many people on set at your house than you were originally told, etc.  It’s just really annoying.  But, if you’re a free spirit that realizes that stuff is just STUFF and you get to be part of a cool film shoot, then this gig is for you.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because while working as a PA on this set, I became part of the crossfire for an angry neighbor whose home was used for this VOLUNTEER shoot. This neighbor was paid $200 (so, $200 more than ANYONE ELSE WORKING ON SET AT ALL EVER) and we used her lawn almost exclusively and did not enter her house but for one or two shots.  Her house, so you have a frame of reference, was a nice enough, typical SoCal house with stucco roofing, white tile and white carpets.  It was in an ok neighborhood but it wasn’t winning any chances to be on the cover of “Better Homes and Gardens” unless it was a “before we made it awesome” house (is that still a thing?  BH&G Magazine?!)  Anyway – this house was just fine, she was a mom of three girls, her mother lived in the house as well and she was probably in her mid-40’s.  This is me setting up the picture of crazy so you can join me in my perplexed annoyance and so you can feel more normal.  Again, you’re welcome.

As is the case for most homeowners that are nut bags, she was convinced her house was amazing and perfect as it was and that unless she was making the changes herself, there was ZERO reason to alter anything – even for the production of a movie of which she agreed to be a part.

To be fair, we shot this film around Christmastime but the film was supposed to take place during the summer months. Because of this, we had to alter the exterior of her house pretty much all the way around.  Apparently, this Filipino homeowner had a gateway to Jesus/Santa SOLELY through the ugly lit candy canes and weird looking elves dancing on her sidewalk at dusk every evening.  And this gateway only worked if the decorations stayed up/lit through all of December (and probably also January).  Well, this production took down ALL of the decorations for two days IN A ROW.  These two days were when she was planning on channeling Jesus and Santa simultaneously, so we fucked up her chance to be a conduit for weird holiday icons.  Plus her kids were really pissed or some other dumb shit she was using as an excuse at the time to not have to admit she was a bat shit crazy control freak.

Photosource: fanpop.com

Have I set up enough preliminary detail for you?  I heavily edited this down.  My original version included the word “fuck” more and called her a “bitch” instead of a “homeowner” so I think I’m showing you a more mature version of this entry.  That said, I haven’t gotten to the fun stuff yet.  Saddle up!

To be continued in part 2…