Chris Brown’s Cancer

Chris Brown’s Cancer

Apparently, Chris Brown is absolved, so we are glad he is supporting the fight against Breast Cancer! Photosource: 92q.com

Listening to the radio this morning, I heard the lovely, melodic voice of Chris Brown letting me know that “We’re all in this together” regarding the fight against Breast Cancer.  There is a lot that makes this ad awesome, but my favorite part is that it was Chris Brown, an open abuser of women, telling the general public (which includes women) that he was joining the fight to end a disease that is generally associated with women (and yes I know that men can get it, too).

For those of you that don’t know the story, Chris Brown is a really talented dancer and singer.  Legitimately.  He is also a really talented boxer (maybe) that has massive anger issues.  After a few songs moved him up on the charts, he got a bit of fame.  After a few punches landed him in jail, he got a lot MORE fame.  The girl he beat the shit out of also happened to be famous.  Her name is Rhianna and it was after an awards show a few years ago.  She wasn’t the one that called the cops.  Nope, it was a Beverly Hills resident that owned the home that Chris parked his car in front of to be able to hit her harder without the stress of also driving.  Beatings are tiring, people!

This is what he did to her:

Photosource: Is pretty obvious, no?

Here is what she normally looks like:

Look, I’m all for forgiveness and rehabilitation of assholes.  I believe it is possible.  However, I am wildly against the idea that someone that keeps making millions of dollars and KEEPS being offensive, angry and apparently untouchable is endorsing the fight against ANYTHING because his agents/managers/PR folks told him it was mandatory.

Photosource: almostalwaysthinking.com

Wanna know the ad I want to see?  The one where Chris Brown is burning down women’s shelters for those abused by her spouse/friend/whomever.  At least that would seem more authentic.  But, Breast Cancer?!

Here’s what I envision that agency meeting sounding like when they were deciding which celebrity to have be the voice of this ad campaign –

“Hey room full of old, white men.  How is everyone today?”

(Moans, greetings, general pleasantries)

“Well, as we need someone hip and cool to endorse our fund raising efforts for boob stuff, I got to thinking.  The other day, my daughter was listening to some sort of noise on the radio.  When I asked her who was singing, she said, ‘Daddy!  It’s Chris Brown.  He’s way famous.  In fact he’s most famous for hitting….’ and when she kept talking, I stopped listening and started making phone calls to his PR people.  Plus, the added bonus is he’s black!  We’ll seem so forward thinking if we ask him!  How ’bout it, men?”

(Agreement noises, coffee sips, smiles, burps)

“Then it’s settled.  Chris Brown will be our celebrity voice against Breast Cancer.  Please hand me my pile of money.  I love agency life….”

Here is the copy I would write for the ad campaign he should really endorse for the ending of all women’s shelters:

“Hello.  I’m Chris Brown.  Women’s shelters are only needed for stupid, snitching bitches that deserve to be in jail.  Burn them all down to teach dumb bitches their rightful place.  Oh, and I’m gay.”

Moral of the story: If you want people to like you and they don’t, beat them into submission.  Then, they’ll have to!

Extra moral: Shut up and be grateful.  Ass.

8 Replies to “Chris Brown’s Cancer”

  1. And don’t thank god after you win an award. If you write songs filled with cuss words and sex (which is pretty much all his songs), and nothing but, don’t act like god is your first priority, and the first person you think of when you win an award. Like your song says, No Bullshit Chris, No Bullshit.

    And this comment is coming from an atheist.

  2. your a dumbass u actually spend time creating this website to hate against chris brown which he will probably never see and if u dont know chris brown has breast cancer. god i hate dumbasses like u that think they know everything and can go around judging ppl. if rihanna forgave him why cant u plus this is old news so stop hating on him cause he is talented and successful and get a life and do something with it!!!! -.-‘

    1. Thank you for taking time to comment. The fact that your comment is dripping with irony is kind of the cherry on top. I do have some posts that were written after January, so I hope you get a chance to read those too! Have a great day and keep reading! 🙂

      1. Christina – what an eloquently written comment. It’s obvious from your awesome grammar you spent your school days listening intently in your English class, fascinated with classic literature, and not out in the parking lot smoking crack in a ’91 Oldsmobile getting ass raped by your pedophile uncle leaving you emotionally and mentally retarded, unable to hold a job thereby sucking off the government’s milky teat as you sit on your couch trolling sites defending men who beat the shit out of women. Good thing that didn’t happen! LOL! (to use an acronym from your generation).

  3. Well Damn i can make myself look like her by hittin my face against the wall and biting my lips its no big deal ? i mean come on, i pride chris brown for standing tall cuz for all we know that could all be bullshit enough said damn dont believe everything you hear

  4. Christina’s comment is funny to me. If you don’t like what’s being said, don’t read it. Simple enough. I, however, agree with her fully. I adore Rihanna. Sometimes, though, victims of abuse just love someone so much they can’t see that this could happen again. Just because love is blind doesn’t mean the rest of us should be. Love you Kate:)

  5. When I said, “I agree w/ her fully”, I meant that I agree w/ Kate…just clarifying here:)