Madonna/Whore?

A radio station I listen to out in LA has an annual contest called “Miss Double December.” Girls can submit photos to the station showing the “goods” offered above the waist.  From there, the DJ’s judge who has the largest/best “assets” and that woman is crowned, “Miss Double December”.  She tours around at events and is a representative of this radio station for one calendar year.  Now, if girls are willing participants and enjoy this type of thing, more power to them.

This same radio station has been obsessing over the story of 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson’s marriage in June of this year to then 16-year-old Courtney Stodden.  If you don’t know the story by now, I’ll help you out.  Hutchinson is an actor with moderate success that saw a video of Stodden online.  Upon seeing this video, Hutchinson called Stodden’s mother and requested that she fly Stodden out to take one of his acting workshops in LA.  In interviews, Hutchinson swears he thought that Stodden was in her late 20’s when he contacted her mother.

Now, there’s a whole lot worth commenting on in this story, but I choose to pick apart this statement of Hutchinson about Stodden’s age.  Assuming that this statement is true, why would Hutchinson call Stodden’s mother to ask permission to have her flown out to LA?  I mean, I’m in my 20’s and if people want to contact me, they certainly don’t go through my mom.  Although, at times, that would be preferable (hear me, car insurance peeps?)

Photosource: mcgradyinsurancegroup.com

Hutchinson and Stodden later fell in love and got married.  The internet/media outlets have been relentlessly judging this relationship and claiming the relationship is disgusting.  Hutchinson’s agent dropped him and he is losing acting work as a result. Stodden is regularly attacked by people saying she looks older than 16, she’s had plastic surgery (I got news, guys, so have your beloved Kardashians, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, etc. etc. etc), and that their marriage isn’t real.  Whatever you think regarding this situation, I think we should all take a good, hard look at the bigger issue – even if she has had work done and is playing the fool, don’t you wonder why she thinks she has to maintain that image?

This morning, these same DJ’s that judge “Miss Double December” (and call Khloe Khardashian a disgusting pig) were discussing Stodden’s recent appearance on Dr. Drew’s “Life Changers”.  They were upset and said, “How can a woman just decide her only contribution to society is being sexy, speaking in a Marilyn Monroe breathy tone and showing off her body?  I mean this girl walked around a pumpkin patch where there are children in Daisy Duke shorts!  I don’t get why women do this.”  Really, Mr. DJ?  You don’t “get it”?!  How are the online submissions for your Christmas Breast Pageant going, guy?

They even turned to one of the DJ’s and said, “Since you’re the only father here, how do you feel about this?”  To which he replied, “I think it’s disgusting and if my daughter even tried to have a relationship like this, I would squash it.  She would lose all of her privileges.”  (My hope is that this DJ’s daughter ends up submitting to his Christmas Breast Pageant.)

Photosource: http://www.digital-photography-school.com/

Hey, guy, the women you chastise for overly sexualizing themselves are the same women you watch having sex on film, stripping down for magazine covers, and playing as if she is dumb so that she is valued in the way you have defined.  God forbid we leave Condoleezza Rice alone about her appearance or stop calling Hillary Clinton a lesbian so that you can feel better about their smart brains!

As an increasingly image-focused US arises, I am saddened.  I’m not saddened by the fact that women are expressing themselves.  Go – have all of the protected sex you want!  Have no sex at all!  Work!  Have 37 children and a career!  Retire at 38!  Get married!  Stay single! Do WHATEVER YOU WANT!  We are in no position to tell any women what she is worth.  I am saddened because we rarely call out people that utilize his/her positions of power in entertainment/politics to challenge this ideal.  Are we Madonna’s or Whores?  Why do we need to fall into one category or the other?  Why can’t we be smart AND sexy?  Who is determining that we now need to wax off all of our vagina hair, work on getting bigger asses and stop eating?  Why do we, as women, say yes to this?

Look at Jessica Simpson – she played dumb for the entirety of her reality show, “Newlyweds” with Nick Lachey to get ratings (“Chicken of the Sea” if you forget the best example). Today?  Oh yeah, today, this dumbass runs a billion dollar, no, not million dollar, but a BILLION DOLLAR empire between clothing, shoes and scents.  But, got it, she’s “dumb” because she played that role for men to feel relieved and so that women could lovingly shake their heads with, “Well, she’s so gorgeous how on earth could she also be smart?”

Let’s leave Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden alone.  Are they happy?  I don’t know.  But you don’t know that either.  Is it a fake marriage?  Who cares?  Gays still can’t legally wed or make-out on prime time television, so let’s get up in arms about that instead.

And, I’ll tell you one thing – as soon as we women stop being afraid that we aren’t pretty enough, thin enough, or sexy enough, we just might all band together and realize we are 52% of the world’s population and that we’re pretty fucking rad.  Madonna?  Whore?  Both?  Neither?  Be 438 pounds! Be 112 pounds! Have a big butt! Have a small butt! Have one leg shorter than the other! Be gorgeous! Be whatever the hell you want to be – just stop letting others define that for you.

Moral of the story – You’re pretty.